Watch where you park

Flying Celebrity attack – paparazzi unhurt

It’s a nice quiet afternoon at the office when the receptionist calls me “Andy, can you come down to reception?”. I’m thinking maybe it’s a strip-a-gram except it’s not my birthday. I go downstairs to find a slightly dishevelled guy standing there proferring his driving licence and proof of insurance! He says “It wasn’t my fault, but I hit your car in the parking lot.”

Well, he wasn’t kidding about hitting my car; judge for yourself whether it was his fault. Apparently he had pulled into a parking spot and his brakes had ‘failed’ and he’s worried he’ll lose his job for being late for his shift, and he doesn’t have any money to pay for repairs, and he owes student loans, and … and … “OK, I say. Let’s go and have a look.”

And here are the pictures – photo credit to Amin Mohammed, artful downloading credit to Merrilyn Nash. Click any image for a bigger ouch (closer look).

Yes folks, this guy was pulling into a parking spot in a different parking lot when his Chevy Celebrity leapt over the curb, leapt up the embankment, over the top and dropped on my car!

The ‘not my fault’ driver suggests he and some friends will lift up the front of his car and I can drive out from under. I say “I don’t think so. You might drop it. You had better call a tow truck and get some professionals to help”. Well, he can’t afford a tow truck, so I call one. I also call the police since the damage is sufficient to be reportable.

Twenty minutes later we have the tow truck driver grinning from ear-to-ear, the cop is listening patiently to the ‘not my fault’ driver explaining how this happened, and I’m thinking it’s a great day to be standing around in the sunshine instead of stuck in the office. The tow truck driver hooks the back of the other car so it won’t roll, then leans hard on the front end of mine allowing me to – very slowly and cautiously – back out from under. That’s one problem solved. The cop says to me “I’ve never seen anything like this before”. I say “I didn’t need to see it myself.”

As we stand there, the tow truck driver slacks off his tow-line so the other car gets its front wheels back on the ground. Then the driver gets in and starts up, puts it in reverse while the tow truck driver hauls him up the slope. It looks like it isn’t going to make it until the car driver floors the accelerator … and a few seconds later his car pops over the mound and slams into the back of the tow truck. The cop says to me “I think his brakes have failed. I’d better see if I have the authority to impound this vehicle right now”. “OK”, I say, “have a great day”.

Final score
To be determined. My insurance company says “we’ll probably waive the deductible as this wasn’t your fault. And can you send me a copy of all the pictures, please?”

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